Next week I’ll be going on a 4-day walking trip with 3 friends. I know what time and where to board the train, and what needs to be in my backpack (as always). As for where we are going – 2 of us know, the other 2 are along for the ride.
It’s always a slightly unsettling moment not to be able to prepare for what is coming. So I consciously flip the switch and go into following mode. I have known these friends for 34 years, and for over 10 years we are going away together every year. The trust is there. The hardest part is not planning, not looking ahead, not knowing where I will be walking, eating, and sleeping. I only know the first step. The train.
By now I am convinced that this is precisely what contributes to the ultimate holiday feeling during these 4 days: flipping the switch for a while, stepping out of the usual mental grooves, not having to choose and not having to decide. Just receiving, being in the moment, and seeing what comes our way.
I was thinking about this. In our leadership programs with Companions for Leadership, we talk about the balance between being “expressive” and “receptive”: between actively making plans and steering in a direction versus seeing what comes toward you and being open to it.
When I have no control, I can focus on the here and now: the conversations, the surroundings we walk through, and the surprises along the way. By handing over the reins, I temporarily carry no responsibility and feel as free as a small child. Because someone else is choosing, my own choices are limited. In return, I get freedom and lightness.
Switching to following mode is not passive. It’s a conscious choice. It feels unfamiliar because I have to actively set aside my tendency to plan and look ahead.
What helps is that I have known these friends for 34 years and there is absolute trust. And trust is, of course, a prerequisite.
When do you consciously choose to go into following mode?
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